Here are 5 ways to spend the $1 billion Mega Millions jackpot

Is $790 million worth $2?

That’s a good question, given it costs $2 to buy a Mega Millions lottery ticket that could pay off with an estimated $790 million prize, the nation's fourth-largest jackpot, after the game’s next drawing Tuesday night.

Not really.

To start with, your chance of winning the grand prize is minuscule, at one in 302.5 million. You have better odds of a smaller payoff, such as winning $1 million for matching five regular numbers but missing the Mega Ball. But even that is one in 12.6 million. To put that in perspective, your chance of dying in a car crash — something to consider as you drive to the mini-mart for a lottery ticket — is around one in 101 over a lifetime, according to the nonprofit National Safety Council.

As lottery officials note, players should think of their $2 bet as a chance to dream while accepting the reality they likely won’t be entering a new income tax bracket Tuesday night.

Ah, but even if you somehow beat the odds you are not going to get $790 million.

First, that’s the amount for winners who take the annuity option, paid over 30 annual payments. But winners nearly always opt for cash, which for this drawing would pay out an estimated $464.4 million.

And then there are federal taxes, which will slice off 37% off that cash prize, so that would leave less than $300 million, though state taxes could cut in to that amount as well, depending on where the winner lives. Still a fortune, but a smaller fortune. That also doesn’t account for the possibility someone else will match the winning numbers, meaning they would need to divide even those smaller winnings in half or more, depending on the number of lucky players.

It is definitely a big paycheck.

To put that in perspective, consider that the median U.S. household income in 2020 was $67,500, meaning a lifetime of work at that rate would be less than 1% of even the smaller jackpot after taxes.

But sadly, if you had won that same prize a year ago, before the nation endured a year with an inflation rate of about 9%, your buying power would have been significantly higher.

Eventually, though the reason the grand prize has grown so large is because no one has matched all six numbers since April. That's 28 consecutive drawings without someone hitting the jackpot.

With so many people playing now that the potential top prize is so large, it becomes increasingly likely that someone or multiple players will finally end that streak. Still, past prizes have grown larger, as the biggest payday was a $1.586 billion Powerball jackpot won in 2016.

Mega Millions is played in 45 states as well as Washington, D.C., and the U.S. Virgin Islands. The game is overseen by state lottery officials.

If you have fun dreaming of a massive windfall that most likely won’t actually blow your way, buy a ticket. But if you need to watch your money, consider keeping the $2 in your wallet.

Interesting fact: Billionaires, on average, take up no more physical space than non-billionaires, yet require much larger boats.

But seriously, is there anything more cliché than a rich person owning a yacht? So lean into it. If someone gives you grief, call it irony. Or ignore them. You’re rich, am I right? Get one of those skipper hats, then buy a big yacht. Superyachts also come in handy should you decide to become a supervillain.

I did a little shopping at yachtworld.com and found a lot of yachts for sale, and settled on an adorable little German-made yacht, 331 feet long (football field, plus one end zone, for reference) and only $185 million. It’s brand-new — in fact, you have to order it and wait 42 months. But that will allow you to add your own private touches, the particulars of which we don't need to hear about, frankly. And as long as you have to wait anyway, why not just order two?

Reality check: There will probably be a tax of some kind depending on where you live, where you buy your boat and how creative your accounting team is. Also, don’t forget you need to hire a crew. These things don’t drive themselves. Towergate Insurance, a maritime insurance company, estimates the annual operating cost for a luxury yacht to be 10% of its initial value. Bet you didn't imagine budgeting almost $19 million for things like fuel, dockage, vessel insurance, maintenance and repairs, and crew salaries in your yacht fantasy, did you?

Fun billionaire fact: Jeff Bezos decided he wanted the biggest yacht in the world (naturally), and it has been under construction in Rotterdam, Netherlands. The boat is almost ready, but there’s a hitch — it’s too big to pass under the bridges that lead out to the open sea. It’s stuck in the harbor. Twitter loves this story.

Nerdy tip: If you really want a boat, lottery be damned, you can get a personal loan for that.

A private jet carries much the same baggage, metaphorically speaking, as a boat, while being faster. I’ll lay out my own prejudices: Rich people with a private jet want to project a ruthless corporate-raider image, rich people with a gigantic yacht are inherently partiers who fell into a lot of money, and rich people who own both are corporate raiders who want to pretend they have fun sometimes. Forced to choose, I’d be a boat person. However, planes do also get points for supervillain potential.

It’s hard to price new jets. The websites are coy. Basically, if you have to ask, you can’t afford it. So I looked at used jets on avbuyer.com. I found a 2020 Gulfstream G600 — the only G600 currently for sale, according to the ad — for just under $53 million. Do you go to a lot of places? Do you need to get to them fast? And alone, if possible? This may be your ticket.

Reality check: Taxes. Operational costs, again. I’m not going to look up the math this time, just assume it’s a lot. Also, an indefensible carbon footprint. Don’t buy a jet, seriously.

The national average price of a home, say the feds, is $525,000. If you had $1 billion, by my calculations, you could buy about 1,900 average houses. That’s more than one person could live in, presumably, but you could give houses to all your friends and family and still have houses left over for bare acquaintances. Houses for everybody you know, or think you know, or who want you to think you know them.

But maybe you’re newly elite and want to live in a coastal city. Average just won’t do. San Francisco usually ends up at or near the top of “most expensive city” lists, and Zillow says a “typical” house there costs $1.6 million. Again, by my calculations (and I was a journalism major, mind you), you could buy 625 houses with a billion dollars. Friends and family still in, hangers-on may have to be pared back.

If you wish to buy fewer houses in closer proximity, you could buy what the Bohemia Realty Group site alternately calls a “neighborhood” and a “compound” in the Bronx — “where you can gather your extended family or co-workers in one picturesque location and still be within NYC.” I find myself slightly skeeved out by this listing, but if this is your thing: $120 million for 15 brand-new luxury homes ranging from 8,000 to 15,000 square feet, each with a pool and an elevator.

Reality check: There are annual property tax and maintenance costs to consider. That’s true if you buy one or many houses. And, remember, you don’t really have a billion dollars, even if you win.

Nerdy tip: If you want to buy a house whether you win the lottery or not, check out our fancy mortgage calculator.

Really, if we’re honest about it, who needs a billion dollars, or the things a billion dollars can buy? A billion dollars is a ridiculous amount of money for one person to possess. But that kind of money can do a lot of good in the right hands. That kind of money can make a difference.

I’ll weave the reality check right into the item here. Give away as much as you feel comfortable giving away, but leave yourself and your significant circle enough to live on comfortably. For as long as you expect to live, and then some. Get expert advice before you give any person or organization a dime. Then decide what causes you’re really passionate about.

And if you decide you want to make giving an important, ongoing part of your life, create a family foundation. That builds a process around each decision. Let your money do smart work. Foundations in the United States gave away $90.88 billion in 2021, according to the National Philanthropic Trust, supporting everything from the arts to the environment to social justice. Well spent, the money can build a social good. But do it carefully so you don’t become another lottery horror story.

Nerdy tip: You don’t have to be rich to give your time or money. And, in some cases, your donations can generate tax benefits.

I didn’t know which to choose for my fifth and last item, so I picked both. I’ll handle them separately first.

Make a blockbuster: Some movies make a billion dollars in profit, so theoretically you could make your money back and then some. How much does it cost to make a blockbuster? The newest Thor movie from Marvel cost about $250 million to make, according to Variety. The most expensive movie ever made was “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides,” at an estimated $379 million. So what could go wrong?

Buy your own island: May I interest you in Pumpkin Key, one of the famed Florida Keys? Ten minutes to Miami by private helicopter (note to self: buy helicopter). Pumpkin Key is 28 acres and will set you back $95 million. It has a single large home, but plans sketch out a compound (there’s that word again) of 12 additional homes, according to the listing site, Vladi, an online marketplace of islands for sale or rent. Pumpkin Key includes a “dock master office and 20-slip marina able to accommodate a mega-yacht.”

And there you have it. A place to park the yacht we bought earlier in this article and thus complete the supervillain ensemble.

Or do both: Hear me out: Buy the island, make a pirate movie. The world is ready again.

Reality check (movie): Movies often flop. Also, movie costs cited in the press (and above) are typically just the production costs and don’t include marketing and distribution, which can run into tens of millions of dollars.  “Avengers: Endgame” spent $200 million on worldwide marketing — and seriously, do you want to compete with Disney? Start small. Find a kid with a camera and an idea and see what they make. Even if it’s bad, it’s bad for the right reasons.

Reality check (island): Don’t forget property taxes. Also, sea-level rise is swallowing the Keys, thanks in part to people in private jets and superyachts.

Reality check (island and movie): Pirate movies are never coming back. “Our Flag Means Death” is a good show, though.